Slept in today, it is a rainy Saturday. Spent a couple hours this morning answering e-mail particularly for my Society for Creative Anachronism pages. Then grandma and I went to mama-sans alley in downtown Sasebo to pick up pink roses to be given to the mothers at church tomorrow. Then we went over to the Navy base and had club sandwiches for lunch at the bowling alley and went shopping at the NEX.
I sorted through the DVD bargain basket and found half a dozen interesting looking swashbucklers or swords and sorcery films and then decided they really weren't worth the six or seven dollars apiece just to waste a couple hours watching them. So then I went back and took a nap in the car until grandma came out with a sack full of gifts for our family back in the states. Now you just have to wait until we get there to find out what they are.
Now I'm going to attempt to do some writing related to my book that I plan to write this summer. So until later, take care.
2 comments:
i like bowling! thats cool your writing a book! i one of my classes in school i have creative writing and we are preparing to write a short story about six pages long.
What do you think of this for a beginning?
Chapter 1 – Dawn, Wednesday in the Real World
With his eyes closed it was impossible for him to tell his head from the rock under it. They were both hard, cold, and throbbing in rhythm with his pulse. Then the pulsating rushing noise in his ears started to form words.
“… Professor Gee, wake up and go home.”
“I am home.” Professor G. groaned.
The boy’s voice echoed in his pulsating head. “No you’re not. You’re sleeping on our ceramic yard gnome.”
A deep grumpy voice reverberated between Professor Gee’s ears. “Who yer callin’ Sir Amick? I’m not Sir Amick the yard gnome. I’m Niccolò, a poor Sicilian yard gnome. I know because yer mother has bragged that to everyone who ever entered my backyard. She says, ‘poor Sicilians are special, much better than ceramic.’”
The surprised boy’s voice in Professor G’s head said, “What? Who was that?” as the rock he was using for a pillow wriggled out from under his head which then thumped on the dewy grass causing his eyes to pop open just in time to see a flash of bright red conical hat slip between the fingers of his right hand.
The deep voice rumbled into Professor G's right ear, “I’ll thank ye fur ma hat yuh giant lummox.”
Professor G. struggle to his hands and knees and looked straight ahead to stare into the tiny beady eyes of a porcelain yard gnome. The gnome glowed bright green in the morning sun that was skimming along the grass from his left. As it pulled its red hat down to its largish ears, its expression changed to a grin from the grumpy frown Professor G. recognized from his next door neighbor’s back yard gnome.
Professor Gee said, “I must've hit my head harder than I thought when I fell against this tree. I'm so goofy I'm talking to my neighbor’s porcelain yard gnome.”
“If you’re goofy Professor G. then why do I hear him too?” Jacky asked.
Before he could stop to think Professor Gee found himself saying, “Maybe because you’re wearing the same kind of dunce cap the lawn ornament is.”
Jacky defended himself, “This is NOT a dunce cap. It is my sorcerer’s apprentice hat. Hey, maybe that’s it. When I enchanted the brooms just before Mom made me go to bed last night my spell hit him too. I was looking for the brooms when I found you this morning.”
While he said this Professor Gee attempted to stand but fell back hard on his rump because the world was still spinning so fast. Then he asked “So it’s your fault I’m talking to a lawn ornament? I don’t think I’m goofy enough to believe you enchanted a lawn ornament.” Professor G. sat back against the tree that marked the boundary between the two yards, still staring at the gnome whose countenance had soured more each time he said “lawn ornament”.
The gnome growled, “Look, garlic breath, you don’t need to be goofy to hear me. I’m no lawn ornament! Who do you think really charmed those brooms into running off last night?”
As the world continued to turn on a wobbly axis, Professor G. looked up at Jacky whose lower jaw nearly sagged to the ground in astonishment and then he exclaimed. “You’re a real red hat sorcerer? That’s better than a Jedi Knight! Say, he caught you, doesn’t he get three wishes?”
“No, kid, you’ve got me confused with leprechauns or genies. He tripped over me in the dark last night, knocked him self silly on the tree, and scooped me up muttering about how he’d found his pillow. I didn’t have anything better to do so I just laid here and let him sleep it off while I tried to figure out what I’m gonna do.”
Jacky and Professor G. demanded together, “What are you gonna do?”
“I’m gonna have to fill that little witches banishment quest so I can return to my own backyard, that’s what I’m gonna do.”
“Witch?” Jacky asked.
The gnome snarled back, “Witch indeed! That little witch of a fairy queen who banished me from my own back yard that is.”
Professor Gee decided this was getting too silly to continue. “Look, guys, this is wonderfully fascinating, but I’ve got to wake up and go to work. This is one of the weirdest dreams I’ve had this week, but would you throw a little cold water in my face so I can wake up and get on with it?”
The gnome growled back, “Sure, I’d love to soak you down, but it won’t do no good. Yer already wide awake and this ain’t no dream. Yer sent here to help me get back into my yard where I belong. I’ve got important work to do back there and yer gonna help me get there. You too squirt. It’s yer fault I’m out here, so yer gonna help me get back too.”
Jacky asked, “I am? How?”
The gnome rumbled on, “I need your magic to strengthen my own. You’re young enough you almost still believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. There’s magic in those beliefs if you can hold on to them a little longer. You do believe in magic don’t you?”
“Of course! Otherwise I wouldn’t be a sorcerer’s apprentice would I?”
“Good, you keep on believin’ until this is over.”
“Hey, does that make me your apprentice?”
“You got it kid. Now, Big Britches, you need to pull yourself together. Drink this.” He said as he handed Professor G. a glass full of purple liquid that had not been there when he started the sentence. Professor Gee, figuring it was just a dream, took the shot glass and downed it in one gulp. The after taste was like honey mixed with the smell of lilac blossoms. He had figured it would be horrible stuff considering its source, like purple cough medicine. But this was heavenly. Warm all the way down to his stomach and it continued warm and cuddly all the way down to the tips of his toes and it bounced back to the top of his head and kept going, back and forth, like a wave in a warm bath tub washing back and forth. The world stopped wobbling and his head no longer throbbed. He just felt warm and fuzzy all over.
Niccolò rumbled “Now we’re ready to leave for faery. It’s a little tougher crossing at dawn than at dusk so stick close to me.” He walked between Jacky and Professor G. toward Jackie's house as Professor G. stood to follow him. A doorknob appeared in the air in front of Niccolò at his eye level or Professor Gee's knee level. As Niccolò grabbed the knob and swung open the door in what now appeared to be a wall with a picture of the neighborhood painted on it, he said, “Come on, don’t just stand there. Come on through.” Then he turned back, grabbing Professor Gee's trousers at the knee and Jacky’s hand and led them through the door.
As they passed through the door, on the other side they recognized Jacky's yard and the rest of the neighborhood, but without any houses. And the street was gone. The trees and flowers still outlined where the houses stood in their world. But the houses, sidewalks, streets, and everything man made were all replaced with soft green moss or bright green grass. The door softly clicked closed behind them. They looked back to see the other side of the wall, this time painted like the other half of their neighborhood without the houses and paving, but this wall was losing its two dimensional flat look as its half of the neighborhood became fully formed in three dimensions.
Then WAM! Professor G. got stung right on his left buttocks. It felt like the mother of all hornets had found her target. “That’s for siding with that destroyer-of-all-that-is-holy you horrible giant!” a tiny female voice shouted, circling around and around Professor Gee's head at a dizzying rate of speed. He reached back reflexively and pulled a one inch trident from his aching buttocks and the pain subsided somewhat.
Professor Gee pleaded, “I’m sorry; I didn’t know what I was doing. He drafted me against my will.”
“No body comes into faery against his will, not even a stupid stumbling giant. That’s my trident!” and she swooped over and snatched the three pointed needle from between his fingers which he had brought close to his eyes to see what had been in his bottom. “Now get back to your own yard and take that devil with you, giant.” She screamed as all three danced quickly out of her way into the faery version of Professor Gee’s front yard chased by a hundred tiny winged warriors who swooped down around them threateningly like hornets. They raced across Professor Gee's yard and went around the far side of the hill that had replaced his house. About halfway across his yard the fairy Air Force turned and flew back to Jackie's yard and then swooped over the mossy hillock that had replace Jacky’s house and disappeared.
“Those are not how I pictured fairies.” Professor Gee said as he watched the swarm recede. It was then that he started to remember the old stories of grown men, who had been let into the faery hills to never be seen again. “Uh, Niccolò, how are we going to get back home? The door disappeared.”
“Awe, don’t worry about that now. We’ll get back soon enough.” Niccolò replied as visions of Rip Van Winkle’s picture from children’s story books coursed through Professor Gee's head. He was starting to feel dizzy and disoriented again. Maybe the purple juice was starting to wear off already. Niccolò continued, “Now let’s go sit in the shade by your pool and plot our strategy.”
As they went around the hill that had replaced Professor Gee's house, they saw that his pool no longer had its concrete liner. It was a beautiful little pond that was not quite square on the corners with pink and white water lilies in bloom in the shallow end and a turtle floating in the middle of the deep end taking his morning leisure. There were cat tails about half grown around the edges all the way around the pool. There was a row of large shade trees in the hedge between Jacky's backyard and Professor Gee's backyard that shaded the pool area and made it comfortably cool. Professor Gee's patio had been replaced by a little sandy beach on which they flopped down with Jacky and Professor Gee on either side of Niccolò. They faced Jacky’s backyard to watch just in case the fairy Queen decided they were still too close.
“Ok, Giant, don’t let it go to your head, but I drafted you, as you put it, because everyone in the neighborhood says you’re the smartest guy they know. I need a smart guy to figure out what that fairy witch wants.”
“Why don’t you know what she wants? You’re from the faery world, not me.”
“Because she was too mad to tell me when she banished me.”
“Why did she banish you?”
“I accidentally let Jacky run over her fairy ring while they were dancing. He was mowing the grass with that infernal noisy machine and I was supposed to magic the grass short while he wasn’t looking so he would think he already mowed that area. But I was so intent on stopping up my ears that I didn’t see him head right for the fairy ring first thing rather than mowing around the outside of the yard first like he usually does. So it’s all Jacky’s fault we’re here in this predicament.”
“My Mom told me to mow down the toad stools first so they would get chopped up as I mowed the rest of the lawn. She said that way they would make good fertilizer.” Jacky defended himself.
“So blame your Mom. Bottom line is, you blew chunks of the fairy ring all over the back yard, scaring the little folk, and their queen blamed me. So she gave me to twilight to be out of her backyard or give her what every fairy queen wants. That’s why I was where this lummox tripped over me coming back from taking his garbage to the street this morning before daybreak. He knocked himself silly on the tree and started to crawl around mumbling that he couldn’t find his pillow. So I rolled over to his hand and magiced him to sleep using me as his pillow so I would have time to figure out what to do. I had to figure out a way to get the Professor to drink my transfer potion. Only way an adult can get into faery is after drinking a transfer potion. I still hadn't figured it out when Jacky stumbled onto us and I was able to slip it to you without your having time to think about it.”
The professor asked, “So you drafted me to solve your problem?”
“That's about it.” Niccolò admitted. “So do you have any idea what a fairy queen wants most?”
The professor scratched his balding head while he thought about it and smoothed back what little white hair he still had. To call it a comb-over would be an exaggeration as there was so little left to comb. “I suppose she'll want a new fairy ring first.” He offered.
Niccolò rumble the reply, “I thought of that first too, Professor. That is why I was lurking by your back door which is close enough to my backyard for me to magically place the minerals, humus, and fungus needed for a new fairy ring which has grown up overnight. Obviously that wasn't it or she wouldn't have still been mad when we saw her this morning.”
Jacky offered, “She’s a girl so maybe she wants new clothes or maybe jewelry like a new crown.”
The professor replied, “That’s possible but she and all of her soldiers seem to be pretty well clothed with natural items from the gardens around here. What do you think, Niccolò, would some form of clothes or jewelry be what she wants?”
“I thought of those things last night too Professor. Those are pretty good ideas apprentice, but she is a hedgerow fairy Queen who can magically form clothes out of leaves, spider webs, thistledown and other natural fibers. So it is unlikely that she wants more clothes. I have offered her better crowns already since jewelry is something gnomes do best. But she's happy with what she has. So you can see my problem. All of these easy things are not the answer to her question of what she wants.”
Jacky tried again, “In the fairy tales I've read, kings and queens always want more lands. Does she want to rule Professor Gee's yard too?”
Niccolò chuckled, “An interesting thought but she already does rule his backyard too.”
Professor Gee asked, “If she exiled you from her kingdom then why is she letting you stay in this part of it?”
Niccolò replied, “She didn't banish me from her kingdom. Just from Jacky's backyard. This yard is ruled by Baron Pallas, who is one of her vassals.” As he said this he reached over to one of the shrubs growing along the bottom of the hill that was Professor Gee's house and started picking and eating blueberries.
Professor Gee asked, “Where are you getting the blueberries? Those are forsythia bushes.”
Niccolò rumbled a chuckle, “I was hungry for blueberries and simply suggested magically to your bushes that they would do well to grow some blueberries. Go ahead to help yourselves there will be plenty.”
Jacky pleaded, “Can you teach me to do that kind of magic?”
Niccolò replied, “Of course.” And he launched into a long technical description of how to form the magic request in your mind and impose it on the bushes. While Jacky listened fascinated and started some bushes growing strawberries, apricots, and peaches; Professor Gee was distracted by the large mouth bass jumping at bugs on his pool that was now a pond.
He took his jack knife out of his pocket and opened it while walking to the Willow on the far end of his pool where he cut a long switch. He cut a strip of bark starting from the fat end of the stick and carefully carved it to the thin end. Then he tied it in a knot attaching it more firmly to the stick without detaching it from the thin end. He unfastened a safety pin that was replacing a button on his shirt and carefully bent it into a hook which he tied onto the other end of the strip of bark. He pulled a little fuzz from one of last year's cattails that still hadn't had all of its down blown away. He caught the down in the head of the pin and fashioned it into a semblance of fly wings. He cast his fly onto the water where the largest bass had been jumping. The third time he presented the fly on his Willow fishing line the bass took it. Swallowed it, and broke the line swimming away.
Niccolò and Jacky had stopped their discussion to watch Professor Gee when he made his second cast. They rolled on the beach in laughter when the bass destroyed the professor's fishing gear. The professor grumbled, “I suppose you can do better.”
Niccolò said, “Of course. Hand me the pole or what's left of it.” Chuckling some more, he shook the pole and swished it back and forth in the air several times. Each time he swished it back and forth the remainder of the bark fishing line got thinner. Finally he stopped shaking it and handed it back to the professor. The bark had truly turned into fishing line with a very serviceable fly attached to a hook the right size for the bass in the pond.
The professor beamed, “Now that is magic I have to learn!” So Niccolò took a moment to teach them both how he made the fishing pole. But this time he started with only a blade of grass. He explained cutting switches off of a tree would upset the dryad who cared for it. But all of the fairies consider grass is to be used for useful things. While they fished for lunch they discussed all of the possible things that a fairy Queen could want.
Post a Comment